dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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