we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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