I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
