Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize