I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
