You can't motorboat a personality
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
