Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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