At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
