I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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