whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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