I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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