I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize