You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
