whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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