i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
