I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
