whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
my liver is dry heaving
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
