Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
