; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do vagina's smell?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
