What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize