You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
