my being single is dangerous.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
