OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
