wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
