Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
