well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
