You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
