You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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