Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
