So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize