Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
