he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
