I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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