how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
