one two three fourrrrnication!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I could fuck to npr.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
