The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
