I puked a lego.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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