Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize