Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
