New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
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