My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
