Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Randomize
