Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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