so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
