oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
