Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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