Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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