She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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