I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
