Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
