Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
