Your dad touched me again.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
