I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
