turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
