I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize