i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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