i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
