you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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