White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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