A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
