she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
