Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
