a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
