how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
