You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
