Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
