Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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