I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
