apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
