Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
