Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
