I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
